i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
