The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Actions speak louder than pants.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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