If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
