broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
