I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
try to milk me bitch
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