i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
