thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
