Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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