Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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