Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
