North Korea, Best Korea!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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