Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
