You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
