Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
