He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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