i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
