When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
pray to the hookup gods
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
