just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
