We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
