so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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