Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
