I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
