so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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