Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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