if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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