I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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