Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
