i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
