Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
