I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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