If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
