if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
