It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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