Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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