im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i out mim tonsoeep
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