Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
