I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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