Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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