he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
