No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
