Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
