I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
