sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
