my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
