I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
