Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
