season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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