the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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