The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
