so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
