i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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