I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
