If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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