I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize